Before I Start…

Before I start this long journey of blogging (which I’m not sure how all of this works, so bear with me), I want to cover a few things that are very important. This blog is very personal. It is the first time that I will openly share my side of my boyfriend’s divorce and custody battle which are extremely touchy and emotional subjects. I will also criticize, analyze and question motherhood that will probably insult and, quite frankly, piss a lot of people off. But I want to let my readers know that I respect motherhood more now than I ever have in my entire life. I idolize women who take care of children day in and out and I watch their every move to see what I can improve on in my daily life. Therefore, what I am about to say in my future blog posts is not to purposely insult or discredit anyone’s past experiences or feelings. These are my experiences, my thoughts and my convictions and I stand firmly by them.

So let me give y’all a quick run down of why I decided to start this blog: I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend for a year now. I know, I know, every girl says her guy is “great” and “amazing” on social media to get the likes and attention, but I mean it. My man is fucking incredible (I curse a lot, here is your warning). It’s not about the flowers, or dinners or gifts he gives me. It’s about how much he wants to see me happy and to succeed. It’s about how he wants to be equal, not better. It’s about how he wants to always talk about OUR future, never about the past. So that’s why I used to ask myself, “why on earth would a woman ever be so terrible to him, that he would get to the point of wanting to leave?” Because to me, that’s pretty bad. I doubted him. I would ask him if he was telling me the truth. I would become a professional social media detective when he would leave my apartment and see if I could get a glimpse in to their married life and find out any information he was leaving out. Nothing.

And then, she started to make me feel terrible for ever doubting him. For ever making him feel guilty for leaving her (as if leaving your children and the social backlash of a divorce isn’t enough.) Voicemails, Instagram messages to my friends, text messages, letters, phone calls, you name it were just the start of what she started doing to me. But what made me finally want to start writing, is what she was doing to the children. Like I said at the beginning of this post, these subjects are extremely sensitive and are not easy to write about. I can imagine their not easy to read either. Because of a recent event, I have gotten to a point where I don’t have a legal voice, I refuse to share this with the children, my boyfriend and I need to keep a healthy and happy household and relationship and I cannot bring this in to my professional career. Therefore, this blog will hold my frustrations, the events that take place and my honest and raw feelings on being The Paramour Parent.

Until next time,

Haley

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