The Beginning

So I guess I should start from the beginning right? For those of you who know me, you know my relationship with my boyfriend and you know the conditions that come with it. For those of you who don’t, well, you will after you finish reading all my blog posts. Just so everyone is aware, I am going to change some names in here for protection purposes. Not to protect them (HELL no, not to protect them), but to protect me. I’m not in the mood to get sued for defamation of character or any other bullshit they can pull out of their ass for this.

So here it is. Jeff (that’s his real name) is my wonderful boyfriend that I raved about in my last blog post. He has two children, Money and Brown (not their real names, but if you know their real names you’ll find this comical. At least…I do). Anyways, I worked for Jeff at a hotel for about a year and a half and he was by far the best boss and mentor I’ve ever had. I’m not just saying that now that I’m with him, I mean it. He was a phenomenal leader, he taught me everything I needed to know about front desk and being professional and, for the first time, I actually wanted to listen. Now, I did have a HUGE crush on him. I would purposely walk past his office to make copies of blank paper just to get a glimpse of him. I would work with him on Sunday mornings and I would wake up extra early just to curl my hair and put on make up. I would even get butterflies when he would come out to the front desk still buttoning his suit jacket because I wondered what it looked like when he took it off. OMG, sorry, now I’m getting all 50 Shades of Grey shit on y’all and I’m sure you’re like, “stop obsessing over your boyfriend and get on with it.” But this is important to the story…kind of 😉

Basically what I’m trying to say is, I’ve been in love with this man for a while. Therefore, I’m not some random “whore” that just popped up and slept with someone’s husband just because. I knew his conditions. I knew his background. I knew his baggage. No 24 year old (at that time 22, so take that into consideration), jumps into a married guys arms knowing he has two children and a wife and thinks everything is going to be A-okay. And let me remind you. I’m a SMART 24 year old. I might have my blonde ditzy moments, but shit, I’ve got my 4-year college degree, moved myself to a new state by myself, have my own apartment and have for two years, have my own car, pay my own bills, have a damn good job that’s more advanced than a lot of people my age, started my own business at 16 and let me add that I have wonderful parents that could have done this all for me but I didn’t allow them too. I know this is bragging, but I have a right to and that right there is my resume to prove that I’m not just some girl who thinks she can come in and assume a life with a 33 year old, married father is going to be perfect. I was VERY well aware of that.

I will be honest with y’all, and I’ve been questioned on this many times: was he still living with his wife when you two slept together?

Yes.

Listen, like I said before, this blog is going to be real and raw ON BOTH ENDS. I’m not going to hide the wrong things I’ve done because I’m sure as hell not perfect. But let’s go back to that question, because it’s important. I did sleep with him when he was still living with his wife. I do want to be clear that he was on his way out. I know that doesn’t sound believable, but it’s true. I think this question and my answer leads me in to the first couple parts of my blog and that is: why people leave from the outside looking in. Read that again. From the outside looking in. I will be writing about what he told me, and then why I think he left. These are the parts that I think will piss people off the most. “Why does your opinion matter?” and “you weren’t involved in their marriage, you don’t know?” YES I DO! I’ve been deeply, deeply involved in their marriage now for the past year during this dragged out divorce. And if this is what their marriage was like (and according to multiple sources, it was) then I don’t blame him.

All of this being said, I do promise to make this blog as unbiased as possible. My purpose of this whole thing is not only to express frustration that I’ve been bottling up inside, but to also relay a message and side of a situation that people don’t hear very often. I don’t think I can do that effectively by only sharing what SHE did wrong. Some would say, “good, that wouldn’t be fair.” No, that wouldn’t be EFFECTIVE in sharing the message I want people to understand. Because at the end of the day, and what you will learn just as I did through this whole process, nothing is ever fair. The word “fair” is circumstantial and is never based on equality. I will leave you with this:

“What’s equal is not always fair, and what’s fair is not always equal.”

-The Paramour Parent

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